Walk A Little Straighter Daddy
by Still believes Snivellus aka Heather Granger
Summary: I remember looking up to look up to him, and I remember most the time, he wasn't there, I'd be waiting at the door, when he got home at night, he'd pass me by to go to pass out in his chair A look at Snape's family, and how it defines him.
1. Walk Straighter

**Walk A Little Straighter Daddy**

**By**

**Snivellus aka Heather Granger**

"I remember looking up  
_To look up to him_  
_And I remember most the time_  
_He wasn't there_  
_I'd be waiting at the door_  
_When he got home at night_  
_He'd pass me by to go to pass out in his chair" – Billy Currington._

"Mum, Dad, I am home." A tall lank boy around the age of thirteen called out into the grand foyer.

There was no answer. There was never any answer. The boy grabbed his trunk and locomotored it up the spiraled staircase. He opened the door to his bedroom, and pushed in the large trunk. He looked around the dark room, and saw that it looked exactly as it did last summer.

"Severus." A woman drawled out.

"Hello mother." Severus said non-concerning.

"You made it home?" She said monotonously.

"Yes, the Malfoys brought me." Severus explained as he continued unpacking his trunk. He had written his mother and father last week, telling him what time to pick him up from Kings Cross station, but was not surprised in the least that no one was there to meet him. Severus watched as Potter and his family exchanged hugs, and greeted the slimy Sirius Black as well. He nearly scoffed in disguste, when he saw the nosey little mudblood walking towards him.

_"Severus, do you have ride?" She asked innocently._

_"I am perfectly capable of taking care of myself, Evans." He said quickly as he grabbed his trunk and walked over to his house Prefect, Lucius Malfoy._

_"Excuse me Lucius, but..." Severus asked the 15-year-old Malfoy._

_"Your parents didn't show again. Well, your estate is on the way to ours, I do not see why we would not be able to give you a lift." Lucius said as he approached his older sister._

_"Come along Severus, us Slytherins have to stick together." Lorraine Malfoy said._

"Good, I will not be home for dinner, I am going out with Mrs. Black, your father will be home... sometime." She finished.

"Fine, goodnight mother." Severus said not even bother looking up.

Severus hated his family. His mother had had him when she was nearly Fifty-five, and his father was almost Sixty. He had no brothers or sisters, no pets, and no servants. He was alone.

Severus continued to unpack. For those who had studied this boy, they would know that he was a perfectionist. He would jump down anyone's throat that did not do things the way in which he was accustoms. For someone who had little discipline at home, he held himself with restraint and dedication to his schoolwork.

First, he took out his socks and personal items. He unfolded his socks, and separated them into size and color. Next, he removed his school robes. He took a hanger out of the closet and slung the slightly graying robe onto the hanger. He smoothed it out at least five times over until he was completely satisfied.

Most would call this obsessive, but it was what calmed him, focused him, and helped him. Severus took out his books last, carefully placed them in alphabetical order on his small bookshelf, which he had filled with books on the Dark Arts and Potions, his two favorite subjects.

When he had finished unpacking, Severus laid down on his twin sized bed and closed his eyes, trying hard not to feel alone in the world. He quietly recited the ingredients that were needed to make a Wiggenweld potion.

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"Sev (hiccup) erus." A man yelled out.

'Fabulous, the man's drunk again.' Severus thought.

"Get down here!" He yelled angrily.

"Coming sir." Severus replied, flatting his hair.

By the time Severus made his way down to the sitting room, his father was half slumped over in a chair. Severus hated when his father was like this, he was positive that most children his age did not have to deal with careless mothers, and drunken fathers.

"What do you want boy?" His father snapped as he opened his eyes to see his son standing in front of him.

"Nothing sir, you asked to see me." Severus said rather bored of the same repeated pattern that he was so use to.

"Don't speak to your father like that!" He snapped again.

"Forgive me, sir." Severus said more quietly.

"Don't just stand there, go get me another Firewhiskey." He ordered.

"Yes, sir." Severus walked slowly to the icebox. He found a few bottles waiting to be drank. Inside him, he was burning, he wanted to dump it all down the sink, but then he knew he would regret that action as soon as his father had sobered up enough to realize what happened.

Severus grabbed the bottle, and slammed the door shut.

"Here, sir." Severus said as he handed him the bottle. His father snatched it out of his hands and immediately started to drink it.

Severus walked away not expecting a thank you. He had gotten use to many things, like the fact that his father would never teach him how to play Quidditch, and how his parents would never coo over his grades or achievements. Severus was an independent boy, which is why Slytherin suited him so very well.

He father use to work in the Department of Mysteries, before he had gotten fired for showing up completely hammered every other day. Severus was ashamed and humiliated of his father.

He was the reason for his problems at school. His first encounter with the famous three Gryffindors echoed this realization.

_"Hey, James look who it is." Sirius said as they found each other on the platform._

_"Isn't that Stephan Snape's son, looks just like his father." James commented._

_"Yeah, his mother is always over at my house. Do you know why?" Sirius questioned, waiting for James to take a hold of the bait._

_"Well I can only imagine that it has something to do with her husband. My father said that he was fired from the Ministry. Is that true?" James asked._

_"Oh yes, and to top it off, he had to be escorted off the property, he was smashed." Sirius gossiped._

_"Jeez." James said as the walked towards their peer._

_"What's your name?" James asked._

_"What is it to you, I am not deaf you know. I heard what you said, and you can just sod the effing off." Severus said moodily._

_"Look.." James started._

_"Leave me alone." Severus said as he grabbed his trunk and dragged it over to one of the Prefects._

And so, went Severus's life, a quite boy who did not like to be associated with his family, but constantly was.

_"And I'd say_  
_Walk a little straighter daddy_  
_You're swaying side to side_  
_You're footsteps make me dizzy_  
_And no matter how I try_  
_I keep tripping and stumbling_  
_If you'd look down here you'd see_  
_Walk a little straighter daddy_  
_You're leading me."_

**Coming up next: Severus's graduation.**


	2. Graduation

**Walk A Little Straighter Daddy**

**By**

**Snivellus aka Heather Granger**

_"He stumbled in the gym_  
_On graduation day_  
_And I couldn't help but feel_  
_So ashamed_  
_And I wasn't surprised a bit_  
_When he didn't stay_  
_He stumbled out before they called my name"_

It was finally here, graduation day at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. Severus had been working for seven long years for this day. He had set the new school record for number of OWLs received as well as the number of NEWTs. The only subject that he did not pass in his OWL was Transfigurations, mainly because he found the subject rather boring. He was never interested in turning a couch into a bed, or a porcupine into a pincushion.

He appreciated the more refined subjects, ones which required time and detail. The Dark Arts called to him, echoing a sense of belonging. He loved the feeling that he got when he produced a dark spell. The delicacy, the attention to detail that strung together many elements together, how emotion and mood can dictate the success of the spell. He took great pride in learning how to master his emotions.

"Severus, have you seen my hat?" Another Slytherin girl from his year asked in their common room as they prepared for the ceremony.

"How should I know, I am not your personal house elf." Severus snapped.

"Fine, perhaps I shouldn't tell you that your robe is tucked into the back of your pants." She said nonchalantly.

"Sod off." He hissed as he pulled his robe from his black pants. It would be an understatement to say that Severus was not in a good mood, in fact he was boiling. His mother had written him an owl informing him that she would be unable to attend, because she was to attend to some mysterious business in France, all though she had written briefly that his father was going to attend.

The moment that meant so much to Severus was to be interrupted by his disgrace of a father. Severus turned to look in the mirror that one of the girls had transfigured in the Common Room and made sure that there were no other errors in his clothing before he set off for the Great Hall.

"Mr. Snape." Severus turned to see that the Headmaster was addressing him.

"Yes, Headmaster?" He questioned.

"Congratulations, quite impressive 12 NEWTs, I believe that you have surpassed myself." Albus complimented.

"Yes, sir." Severus was unsure what else to say.

"Will your parents be in attendance?" He asked the boy.

"Unfortunately no, my mother had business in Toulouse." Severus explained, secretly hoping that his father would have passed out on the couch and sleep through the whole event.

"Pity, I am sure they are quite proud of you." The Headmaster offered.

Severus looked into the man's eyes and for a brief moment silently cried out in anguish, wishing that he had loving parents. He quickly glossed his eyes over with indifference.

"You know Mr. Snape, that with knowledge comes power." He stated.

"Yes, sir." Unsure where this was going.

"What will you choose to do with that power? People may remember evil, but from goodness comes heroes, who are irreplaceable." He said ominously.

"Sir."

"Mr. Snape." They parted ways, and it would be the last time that the two spoke until the day in which he pledged to be a spy to the Order.

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"Everyone, everyone!" Minerva McGonagall shouted over the commotion outside the Great Hall.

"Please get in order by House. Quickly now!" She added once she had the students attention.

Severus fidgeted with his tie several times, running his hand down the silk cravat repeatedly. His was afraid, afraid that his father would actually show up.

Unfortunately, for Severus, his last name put him last in his house, and right in front of Black of Gryffindor.

"Hey Snivellus!" He chided.

Severus did not respond. He knew Sirius was trying to get him stirred up.

"Snivellus, your mum here?"

Severus sneered, still with his back to Black.

"Or how about your father? No, did not love you enough to show? Pity. Who would want to come watch a grease ball like you." He egged on.

"Your one to talk Black, your mum must be ashamed of you, a Gryffindor in the House of Black?" Severus snapped back.

"At least I don't stick my nose where it doesn't belong, unlike you whom can't help but stick your ugly pointed nose in those dark books of yours."

Severus was about to respond, but was stopped when Minerva silenced them and opened the doors to the Great Hall.

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As Severus took his seat, and waited the start of ceremony, he looked into the crowd.

'So far so good.' He thought no sight of his father anywhere.

Severus glanced over to Evans. She was looking intently at her Muggle parents, who were sitting close to the front row. They were smiling and crying for their daughter. Severus was so angry; nothing in the world could describe his feelings. He was jealous, jealous of a stupid mudblood and her family. A family who had no appreciation of magic, a family who did not even understand the complexity and oppression that wizards have gone through over the thousands of years in which Muggles and Wizards lived together.

He could not fathom how her parents could even understand, and show this kind of emotion, emotion that he himself was always denied.

Just as they were about to start calling off names to come present their wands for activation, and a decree of their accomplishment, the Great Hall doors opened loudly to reveal the one man Severus was praying not to see.

There stood his father, obviously drunk. He stumbled into the hall, loudly climbing over five witches and wizards to find an empty seat. The Headmaster had to pause, disrupting the entire ceremony.

Everyone turned to look at the man. Severus felt the blood drain from his face. He quickly looked away, feeling tears trying to press their way up to the surface. Severus refused to cry; he refused to let the stupid man win. Evans glanced his way, obviously sensing the resemblance. She looked concerned, but quickly looked to the floor when Severus turned his back to the audience.

Albus had gotten through the Hufflepuffs and Ravenclaws, and was about to start the Slytherins, when Severus watched silently as his father was passed out in the chair. Severus thought about the offer that Lucius had written him about last week.

_Dear Severus,_

_I am writing to inform you of a new opportunity that I think might intrigue you. A new wizard is very powerful, and very intelligent is interested in the pureness of magic. He himself is a half-blood, but feels that because of his father who was in fact a Muggle that he was made weak. He is the Heir of Slytherin, he has shown I and several others proof of this._

_As a Slytherin, and as a powerful wizard yourself, I was wondering if you would be interested in joining him. He pays well, and the work is fascinating. You could learn far more than what you have read in books my friend._

_If you are interested, please meet me next Saturday night at Bartlemnes in Knockturn Ally. _

_Sincerely,_

_Lucius Malfoy_

Severus was at first unsure of what to think of this offer. He was not one to follow others. He was independent, and wanted it to remain so. He worked for one person, and that was himself. Everything he had ever done was for himself, never for his parents, never for his friends, because he had few.

As Severus sat and thought about the offer, he realized that the knowledge he would be able to gain could be unthinkable, irreplaceable. Lucius had also mentioned that he would be willing to fund anyone in advance. This meant that Severus could move out, live on his own, something he wanted more than anything.

It was decided, he was to take up Lucius offer, and little did he know at the time what he was about to get involved in. He went in looking for knowledge and a way out of his father's unwanted shadow, what he found was oppression and darkness.

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"Severus Snape." The Headmaster called out.

Severus slowly stood, and walked towards the Minister and the Headmaster. He felt like he was being stared down. As he waited as his wand was fully activated, he noticed the silence. Everyone else had gotten applause or a shout, but he got nothing. Severus glanced over to where his father was seated, and saw an empty seat. Stephan had left, leaving him alone. He saw his father only once after this, and that was at his funeral.

_"And I thought_  
_Walk a little straighter daddy_  
_You're swaying side to side_  
_It's not just me who's watching_  
_you've caught everybody's eye_  
_And you're tripping and stumbling_  
_and even though I've turned 18_  
_Walk a little straighter daddy_  
_You're still leading me."_


	3. Two Roads

**Walk a Little Straighter Daddy**

**By**

**Snivellus aka Heather Granger**

**A/N: I wanted to thank all my reviewers. I really like this story, I may have made him a little soft, but remember that he was still only 19 in this story and he has just been through trauma. I believe that his personality that is in Canon develops over his time as a teacher and as a spy.**

_"If I've learned one thing from him_  
_Its my kids will never have to say_  
_Walk a little straighter daddy_  
_You're swaying side to side_  
_You're footsteps make me dizzy_  
_And no matter how I try_  
_I keep tripping and stumbling_  
_if you'd look down here you'd see_  
_Walk a little straighter daddy_  
_You're leading me"_

Severus had left for Lucius Malfoy's house directly after his graduation, no point in sticking around, when he had no one to converse with.

_"Glad you decided to come Severus." Lucius greeted._

_"Yes, well I am in need of work and money." Severus explained._

_"Well I assure you that this new wizard will provide you with both. He is amazing. He created a Dementor, out of nothing, out our emotions. It was indescribable Severus. No one has ever been able to accomplish this feat, though many have tried." Lucius reveled._

_"That is..." For the first time in Severus life he was speechless._

_"Impossible?" Lucius offered._

_"Yes impossible."  
"No, not impossible, nothing is impossible, not for him."_

_"I am in." Severus said surly._

Those three little words changed his life forever. Three words that he would never live down. Things took a turn for the worse when Severus was asked to commit a murder. Severus was very much into the Dark Arts, no doubt about that, but he was not a killer. He may have called a few wizards and witches mudbloods, but he was not an evil person.

Severus had been working for the man that asked to be called Voldermort for nearly a year. He had learned a great deal from him and was mostly only asked to provide the wizard with several complex potions every once an awhile.

Things got more heated up in the spring of his first year. There were nearly twenty wizards and witches who took the Mark, and countless others who supported the movement. Voldermort was taking decisive action in targeting key enemies who had either wronged him in someway or were not pure of blood.

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He stood at the door of the Longbottoms house awaiting to complete his task. He was to kill Frank and Alice, new Auroras who had recently killed one of the Dark Lord's most loyal servants, Jonathan Macintosh.

Severus twirled his wand in his hand, looking up to the second story window. He saw the shadows of a mother and her infant. She danced by the window holding her child. Everything he had wanted from his own parents was there looking down on him, mocking him, taunting him. If there was any time that he could have done what was asked of him, it was now, but something did not feel right. Why should he take something from them. The child would be no better off them him. He would end up just like him, without parents who cared for him. He could wish that on no one.

Standing cloaked in black Severus's conscience pulled at him. Oddly enough, the voice sounded much like Albus Dumbledore.

_'You know Mr. Snape, that with knowledge comes power. What will you choose to do with that power? People may remember evil, but from goodness comes heroes, who are irreplaceable.'_

"What are you waiting for?" A voice from the background hissed.

"I see someone coming." Severus quickly lied.

"Where?"

"To the left, we should get out of here." Severus said again.

"Are you sure? We will be punished if we do not complete the task."

"I will be punished, you will be reprimanded. Would you rather end up in Azkaban? What if they are Auroras?" Severus tried to persuaded.

"Fine, if you are sure."

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"Severus, my loyal servant you have failed me." Voldermort hissed as he paced around the man.

"There were Auroras coming, I could sense it, as you instructed I came back." Severus tried to explain.

After he had finished speaking, he felt a burning in his mind. He felt exposed. Images of his childhood flashing before his eyes, every moment he wished he could forget was being seen by the Dark Lord. Severus did not know how to respond; he had read of this type of wizardry, it was called Occulmency. He desperately tried to remember how to end the brutal attack. Then he remembered, clear his mind.

The Dark Lord quit the attack and stood with his eyes glaring into Severus's.

"I am disappointed Severus, but I will not kill you. I shall spare you for you have potential once coached properly. Perhaps I have not prepared you well enough for this mission, but after tonight, I am sure you will have no difficulty."

"Yes, my lord." Severus responded. Defiance would not get him anywhere right now.

"Crucio" Voldermort commanded as he watched as Severus bent to his knees to the cold hard cobblestone.

Pain throbbed throughout his body. He could not see straight, in fact he could barely open his eyes. One decision, one choice, changed his life.

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After he had been released from his punishment, he took stock of his injuries. Minus the fact that he was having a hard time focusing any farther than two feet in front of him, he felt blood dripping from above his right brow line. His arm that held the Dark Mark was he feared broken. He limped away from the castle, and decided that he was too foggy to Apparate.

A half hour later, he found himself a little over a mile from Hogsmeade. Looking back, this was perhaps his lowest moment. To the right of him stood Hogwarts, and to the left his home.

If he took the left, then he would be taking the easy way out, he would not have made a change. He would go home, find his father asleep on the couch heal his wounds, and return to the Dark Lord. If he took the right, maybe just maybe the one man who had congratulated him when no one else had, could help him.

Severus chose the right, and tread on towards the castle battered and bruised.

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Severus got to the castle, and was greeted by Rubeus Hagrid.

"Whos there?" The gruff voice asked into the darkness.

"Hagrid, I need to speak with the Headmaster." He said, his breathing shallow from the distance he had walked.

"Master Severus?" He asked.

"Yes, please." He said tired.

That was the first time Hagrid ever heard the young boy say the word, he knew something was most definitely wrong.

Hagrid took large steps leading to the two statues that guarded the Headmaster's office. Severus paused a few meters back from the half-giant leaning ever so slightly on the wall, trying to catch his breath.

"Do you want me to fetch Madame Pomfrey for yah?" Hagrid asked after he had spoke the password.

"No, I need to speak with the Headmaster." Severus insisted.

"Very well, follow me." Hagrid walked up the spiral staircase and found Albus writing a document.

"Hagrid, what do I owe the pleasure?" Albus asked somewhat cheerily.

"Its not a pleasure sir, I found Master Severus out on the grounds, he is wanting to talk to yah sir."

"Oh?" Albus said as he peered over the giant's shoulder and saw the battered man.

"Headmaster." Severus said quietly.

"Thank you Hagrid."

"Anything sir." Hagrid said humbly as he exited the office.

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Severus walked towards the old man's desk glancing at the chairs that flanked either side of his desk.

"Sit down Severus, do you want to see Madame Pomfrey?" Albus offered as he waved one of the chairs to sit opposite of him.

"No, I have made it this far, I think I can look after myself." Severus said trying to save what little face he had.

"What brings you here?"

"I made a horrible mistake." Severus admitted quietly.

"To error is human, Severus." Albus said as he offered him a lemon drop.

"I chose evil." He said referring to what the man had said to him a year ago. Severus gently rolled up his sleeve, trying not to disturb the broken bone.

"The Dark Mark. I have heard of its existence, and now I see it in the flesh, from one of my most promising students." Albus said gravely.

"Why have you come here?" Albus asked.

"I do not know." Severus said truthfully.

"How did it come to this?"

"Do you know me? Do you know who I am? Did you ever care?" Severus questioned back.

Albus closed his eyes, how much he reminded him of Tom. How much he needed love. Albus stood and walked towards the young man. He hovered over him silently for a few moments, and then reached out to him. Severus flinched horribly. Albus closed his eyes, and muttered a spell that Severus could not understand.

Severus felt warmth flow through him, his bone still broken, and his head still bleeding, but it seemed distance as if he was at peace. Albus let go, and summoned the chair next to the broken wizard and sat.

Then it happened, Severus had done what he had needed to do for 19 years. He cried. Later neither man spoke about it, but it is what he needed most that night. The two sat for several minutes as he let silent tears of anger and neglect flow.

"Severus, I have a proposition for you." Albus offered.

"What if I could help you, by having you help me in return?" He said after Severus had quickly wiped his face a mix of blood and tears.

"What do you have in mind." He said weakly.

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It began. Albus Dumbledore explained the prophecy and the power of the one that Severus served. There was one thing that was never discussed that night, and that was the Order. Albus wanted a trial period, help the man stay on the right path, and teach him how to spy.

Albus escorted him to the Infirmary and helped as Madame Pomfrey healed his wounds. Some wounds that were not visible took longer to heal, and some are still healing. They began lessons in Occulmency that next week, and later that year he would be admitted into the Order, much to the chagrin of James Potter and Sirius Black. Severus never had anything to prove to them, he did not care if they did not trust his allegiance. His own allegiance stood to his conscience and no one else.

Severus Snape may never be the friendliest man that ever lived, but he has become a man of morals. It was the only thing his father ever taught him.

Severus had found that his father was just as, or perhaps more lost than he had once been. Severus wanted nothing more than to be different from his father. He wanted to become the man that his father could have been.

_"Yeah walk a little straighter daddy, you're leading me."_


End file.
